For a relationship to be fun and balanced, it’s pretty darn important for the people in it to feel good about themselves. I’m talking about loving the way your pants fit, saying I’ll be a boss roller skater someday, and that my know-it-all/can-do-it-all swagger is paying off. Okay, that list is all about me, and maybe you want to read about Jack. Please stick around a bit.

We all change, but do you grow?

I’m an avid reader and listener to books. Four years ago, as a new manager, I was given feedback to flex my style with little guidance on what that meant. Naturally I turned to my Libby app and kept the queue in high rotation with Sinek, Collins, and Brené Brown for business guidance, and Poehler, Keyes, Sincero, and Jenny Lawson to remind myself to keep being me. I devoured episodes of The Hilarious World of Depression to help make sense of how to communicate to my partner better. I consumed all that held my interest and even those that just seemed to offer an educated and reasonable opinion of how to carve out the best career, family, and relationships.

We focus on what we care about.

I read self help and biographies when I find myself stuck or lacking, or just plain not psyched about the results of what should be a staggering genius. My job framed a gaping hole with mild satisfaction. I’m someone who needs to solve problems, and be surrounded by creativity and acceptance, not a good ‘ol boys club. But I couldn’t yet quit. What else would I do? You see, for all my searching on how to do the job right, turns out my purpose didn’t align with the job.

Jack wasn’t my purpose.

Neither was the family nor the job where I had to look up to winemakers and appease egos. Fast forward to 2022. Feeding people is my new jam. My day job is to make sure that very important people get fed, and the organization I work for is focused on equity. Now that’s some purpose!

By night, I network with collectors.

I also believe that the beauty of Jack’s paintings will lift people up by soaking in the subject and choosing to feel. The vibrant color in the landscapes, drifting and dreamy abstracts, and pain in his self portraits strike up emotions in people. We need reminding that feeling and owning those feelings is how we communicate in healthy ways. Give feeling your emotions a try, really sit with them and let them soak through. I hope you will find that you are lighter and move easier afterward.